Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A New Chapter


Where to begin. Even before I became pregnant, I knew I was going to try my best to breastfeed our baby. I have not really discussed, in length my experiences with breastfeeding because I am one of "those" moms who was fanatic about nursing her baby. I am a member of La Leche League International but fully support any one's decision to either breastfeed or not breastfeed their baby. Liam will be 16 months old in a couple of weeks and although I knew our nursing days were coming to a close, I didnt realize out last day would be yesterday. My personal goal was to nurse Liam for 12 months and although we went past that, It wasnt really planned that way. Weaning him has been very long and difficult for us both (especailly me). I have cried more in the last 24 hours than I have since I lost my dad last year. I NEVER thought in a million years, it would be this hard on me emtionally. Thank you Bill, Jen and Amy for your ears and your help thru this. I am praying that I can make it thru this transition as painfree as possible. I love you little man, and I thank you for allowing me so many priceless, moments with you! I will forever cherish those moments in my heart. (typing thru my tears)
Love, Mommy
**Update**
well, it took over an hour to rock/sway Liam to sleep tonight. Surprisingly, no tears from him, just me. He lays peacefully asleep next to me as I type this. I found comfort in something tonight as I was putting him to sleep. I rocked him in my rocking chair that is in his nursery and it felt "good" something I wasnt expecting to feel so soon. I told my sister I am making a new routine in place of that time I would otherwise nurse Liam to sleep. I am going to sit him in my lap, as we both sit in my rocking chair and I will read to him. That will be "our" special time together before bed. (gosh can I get thru typing ANY of this without tears rolling down my face)? I have prayed all day for strength and courage and our gracious, giving god has given me what I asked for. I am grateful for that. I need more stregth as I finish this difficult task. Day two down. How many more to go?

3 comments:

Grandma Joney said...

Dearest Jovina --
What a challenging time this is for both you and Liam. Although it's been many years since i weaned my babies, I can still recall the bittersweet, mixed emotions . . .from a selfish perspective, the idea of no more possible engorgement, back to 'fun' bras, etc -- but the loss of that special, special time together.
perhaps I can relate it to the first day of kindergarten . .you know they need to take the next step, but you don't want it to be 'today!'
Know that you're in my prayers and that your Heavenly Father is aware of your concerns . . . I hope this is helpful. You know I care!
hugs ~ Joney

Jovina and Bill said...

oh Joney! How I often rely on your words of wisdom to get me thru! I love you my friend.

Lacey said...

Awwwww Beener....I had no idea it was that tough for you. I guess if I would've breastfed B longer I could relate more to you. I'm glad you got through it though :)