THings are good.

For those of you that have been following our weaning story. Thigs were really, really hard on me emotionally last week. I wasnt ready to wean Liam. Well, I was ready, my head was ready, but my heart was no where ready. My heart kept telling me it shouldnt me this hard. I kept crying about it. It just hurt too bad. I was ok with the weaning part, what I wasn't okay with was how we did it. Cold Turkey. I talked to my mom one night, on a friday (we weaned on tues)when I got home from work and told her I was thinking about nursing Liam again. She advised well if he doesnt ask, don't do it. I agreed. Later that night I was holding liam and he pulled at my shirt. I nursed him in the hopes that it would be the last time. Kind of like my way of saying goodbye. It was so sweet. My sister asked me if I cried. I didn't. I kissed his sweet head and rubbed his little arms and that was it. I haven't cried since that night, and we haven't nursed since. It's a thing of the past for both of us. While it was one of the things I enjoyed most about motherhood, I know that there will be soooo many memories to be made. He's such a big boy. I got so many praises from my family, friends, doctors and strangers for nursing Liam as long as I did. 15 months. I know I havent talked much on here about nursing, to me, it's private. But I wanted to journal all this here for me. For Liam. So we can look back on it all one day on know what we did and how it made me feel. Now Im dealing with engorgement issues but hopefully that will all resolve itself soon enough. Thanks for all the words of encouragement from friends and family. I did it. FINALLY. We did it. :)




Instead of nursing Liam to sleep at night, this is our new "special" place. I rock him here, in this chair for naps and at bed time. It's such a special place now.

This is Liam on day two of weaning. He's great. I cried while taking this picture. Seriously, Im not even kidding.

walking at my mom's.

This kid LOVES being outside.

woops! :)

A New Chapter

Where to begin. Even before I became pregnant, I knew I was going to try my best to breastfeed our baby. I have not really discussed, in length my experiences with breastfeeding because I am one of "those" moms who was fanatic about nursing her baby. I am a member of La Leche League International but fully support any one's decision to either breastfeed or not breastfeed their baby. Liam will be 16 months old in a couple of weeks and although I knew our nursing days were coming to a close, I didnt realize out last day would be yesterday. My personal goal was to nurse Liam for 12 months and although we went past that, It wasnt really planned that way. Weaning him has been very long and difficult for us both (especailly me). I have cried more in the last 24 hours than I have since I lost my dad last year. I NEVER thought in a million years, it would be this hard on me emtionally. Thank you Bill, Jen and Amy for your ears and your help thru this. I am praying that I can make it thru this transition as painfree as possible. I love you little man, and I thank you for allowing me so many priceless, moments with you! I will forever cherish those moments in my heart. (typing thru my tears)

Love, Mommy

**Update**

well, it took over an hour to rock/sway Liam to sleep tonight. Surprisingly, no tears from him, just me. He lays peacefully asleep next to me as I type this. I found comfort in something tonight as I was putting him to sleep. I rocked him in my rocking chair that is in his nursery and it felt "good" something I wasnt expecting to feel so soon. I told my sister I am making a new routine in place of that time I would otherwise nurse Liam to sleep. I am going to sit him in my lap, as we both sit in my rocking chair and I will read to him. That will be "our" special time together before bed. (gosh can I get thru typing ANY of this without tears rolling down my face)? I have prayed all day for strength and courage and our gracious, giving god has given me what I asked for. I am grateful for that. I need more stregth as I finish this difficult task. Day two down. How many more to go?